Saloni's Pen

SPACED OUT

Writing is a funny thing. You sit in your room and listen to voices and write everything down. Thinking about what kind of a person does that, I shrug a little. Cold weather, sun gazing back and forth underneath the cloudy sky, warm yellow rays wafting through the window of my room, beautiful yet normal resembling my lost yet unfaded state of mind.

Warming up my hands I sigh deeply and start to paw at my computer. After a while of click-click-click-click… clack-clack-clack, the rattling sound of keypad began to annoy me. It is past one hour and the draft is absolute rubbish. Every day I write something, fuss over it, proclaim it unworthy and delete it. It’s agony, and I’m getting nowhere. I could feel my fingers itching to write something, but what?

I am spaced out completely. It is happening a lot lately. Writing to me comes naturally but some days it doesn’t. Today is probably one of those days. I’d rather step into the office and knock out a dozen emails, which might still equate to 2,000 words than sit down and put pen to paper a 1,500-word article.

The human mind is a very polluted and cluttered place to be, so mulling over every thought feels so gruelling. None of it is spoken out loud or jolted down, all of this is going in my head. Rambling over the idea of what must be said and done first, I am snowed under.

Drop-dead the clock is ticking and there is still a lot to straighten out, but thank goodness for the bright rays wafting through the window of my heart. After continuous juggling and tossing my thoughts, I came to realize, maybe I am turning a molehill into a mountain and that anything great is not written overnight, or in a week.

So hitting the backspace key, I begin to write down anything possibly raw and random. Every time I find myself stuck in a situation like this that I cannot escape, I pen down every raw thought. On top of that, it is how I see through things, to gain clarity which is exactly how and why I wrote this article.

Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.
Natalie Goldberg

IT IS DARK IN HERE

Nobody seems to understand what’s inside our minds. It’s taboo, but let’s break the pattern. As an individual who has experienced it and comes out of it alive. I have seen goodies turning the world the wrong way up. Trust me, depression isn’t a game. And it isn’t a choice.

STOP PRETENDING, YOU CAN’T KEEP IGNORING. YOU NEED TO STOP HIDING.

When the barricades of anxiety and pressure tears you down, the pain is severe and awful and affects so many people in so many distinct ways. Depression doesn’t just vanish, you don’t suddenly wake up and choose not to feel miserable and hopeless.

Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It is fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s like wanting friends, but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone, but not liking to be lonely. It’s caring about everything and then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once and feeling paralyzingly numb.

Depression has long been surrounded by a robust stigma. Myths like, “depression is a sign of weakness” and “feeling sad isn’t manly” are often exhausting thoughts that prevent an individual from seeking help. We are taught that depression is where a person goes crazy inside the mind. That depression is a form of mental illness. This is so true while on the other hand, we are also taught to see people differently who suffer from mental illness (even ourselves). I ask, why?

The idea of seeing a therapist appears like a defeat, instead of normal. Because only “crazy” people go to a therapist, right? WRONG!

You Cannot ‘Snap Out’ Of Depression.

It’s okay to whimper. It’s okay to be vulnerable. You are not bulletproof, you are mortal. You are a human being. You cannot be guarded 24/7. You’re capable of getting hurt. Feel the emptiness. Figure it out. Languish over. Cry your heart out. Stop pretending. Reveal yourself. Stop hiding. Breakdown if you’re drained. Just break. And Stop ignoring. It’s okay.

To read more about it click here.

We often tend to overlook our psychological state and instead focus on maintaining proper physic and curing physical sickness. What we forget in the process is that we are humans and being the same is what is gonna keep us all alive to the very end of life.

But, the good news is that mental health stigma is slowly starting to change in society. More people are beginning to realize what impression mental health has on each and every person.

I think it’s time, for the world to act like humans and not like a machine that has zero emotions. It’s the need of the hour (has been for the longest time) to speak about mental wellbeing and de-stigmatize it. Start by making your surroundings worthy and comfortable for people trying to reach out for help. Let us all start with our homes, family, and friends. Let us start by being kind, gentle, and accepting for however worse the circumstance is or might get. Be supportive.

A NOTE TO WHOMEVER IT MAY CONCERN:

Hey, it’s absolutely okay to get lost in the solitude you’ve been battling inside. You’re hurt. ADMIT IT. Let the curve in your face be sadness instead of a smile. Let it all out. It’s fine. Be miserable. You’re not unattended.

I’m writing honestly about this to let anyone who reads this understand that they’re not alone if they’re also going through this. It comes in waves, and I know it’s not a marvelous feeling, but it’s important to infer that it’s not permanent. It may seem like it’ll and as of right now, it seems like it’s been weeks when it’s really only been days. Just remember, you’re NOT alone. Regardless of what anyone says, there’s nothing vicious with you and you’ll pull through this. Get some motivation here.

Now, it may not be overnight. It may take a couple of days or months. But that’s why Hope is usually so essential. Hope in knowing that through our belief in God we can press on and keep moving.

Hope in knowing that through the renewing of our psyche that the fences won’t press in and crush us.

Start to be grateful in life instead of grieving for what you do not have yet.

A GENUINE CONCLUSION:

Let’s not be judgmental.

Be kind to everyone you meet. Sometimes a hug is worth more than quite a thousand words. Hope for a far better tomorrow.

Let’s be humans again!

ESSENCE OF LIFE

Need some motivation?

Then this post is for you!

Positive words are the key to gaining clarity. Which makes it important to rebalance your life. I’m not a perfectionist, in reality, no one is. It’s my development philosophy – a key to gaining clarity.

Quick Tip: Quality of life depends a lot on your quality of thinking! Mind it…

Below are some of my favorite life-changing quotes, meant to give you a valuable message, inspiration, and encourage you to take action and start right away!

I hope you like them!

1. A Beautiful Day Begins With A Beautiful Mindset

Trust me, this is the most important one-liner for the kick-ass beginning of the day which is why it’s first on the list.

I didn’t realize it until a few months ago when there were life crises and the whole pandemic lockdown situation just made it all worse. Know more about what I did in lockdown click here.

It’s not late. Set up a morning routine that empowers you, supports you, and fortifies you.

2. Turn The Pain Into Power

As a highly sensitive person, this is a quote that helps me make my mind up and go for things. This is how I started Blogging in the first place. It can be anything you’ve been waiting for like hit the gym, start that morning yoga session, or start that YouTube channel. I mean why not?

It pretty much works out for everybody. So, just go for it! Believe in yourself and you’ll be powerful

3. Be A Warrior Not A Worrier

I think you can use this for multiple reasons, whether you are trying to lose weight, struggling with life crises, get a dream job, etc.

A quote to stick by for the rest of your life. Isn’t it?

4. Train Your Mind To See Good In Every Situation

I know it’s hard to remain focused and positive in every situation. You’ve to got to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else you’ll lose yourself every time.

React to the world in real-time.

5. Interrupt Anxiety With Gratitude

Does your brain feel hijacked with stress and anxiety? Mine does, a lot of time.

Anxiety triggers your flight or fight mode. (Fight in my case)

IMPORTANT REMINDER 🔔

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH: IT’S NEVER TO LATE TO BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE. I HOPE YOU LIVE A LIFE YOU’RE PROUD OF, AND IF YOU FIND THAT YOU’RE NOT, I HOPE YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO START OVER.

WISE WORDS BY F. SCOTT FITZGERALD

6. Expect Nothing, Accept Everything

Acceptance is the key to all of my problems today. I’m still a newbie to this concept but I have come too far to look back on this journey.

Sometimes, we expect too much from others because we would be willing to do that much for them. But what if you start to expect less initially? We learn to expect nothing from anybody but ourselves one day. That’s how expectations won’t dare to haunt anymore!

7. No One Is You And That’s Your Power

This is for real.

I’m quite a self-driven person, and I’d rather push myself than have someone else shouting at me to do it. Learn how to become a priority in your life click here.

8. If You Want It Work For It

Set your goals, stop hitting the snooze button on your life. Because darling! Nothing comes easy and you were not born with a silver spoon in the mouth either. The time is now.

Conquer your world. It has been waiting for you!

9. Excellence Matters Not Perfection

When we live with kindness, integrity, and truth, we are practicing excellence. You don’t have to be perfect. Just do your best!

10. Just Keep Swimming

Dory may not be able to recall what she said, but the tiny blue wandering friend from “Finding Nemo” was inevitably full of wisdom. In the end, Dory’s best advice is probably her most classic.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading some of my favorites life-changing quotes. Use them to stay motivated. They hold within them one of the greatest keys to survival which is the flow of positive energy.

Before I wrap up, I would like to share with you the famous phrase from Shri Bhagwat Gita. It says YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.

So, just hang in wherever you are in life right now. Keep in mind the things that inspire you and remember your purpose.

STAY CALM!

Until next time!!

STAYING SANE

The pandemic of coronavirus has shattered the human soul.

It has changed life as we know it. Schools and offices are shut down, we’re restricted to our homes and the future feels very unpredictable. Why write at a stage like this?

For one, we are living through history. It’s a chronology. Future historians may gaze back on the narratives, articles, stories, and art that ordinary people are cultivating now to tell the saga of life during the coronavirus.

But writing can also be deeply therapeutic. It sort of heals you. It can be a means to express our notions, hopes, and joys. It can help us make understand the world and our place in it.

Let’s, go back to when this all started. A lot of folks were thinking: “It’s just 14 days. Things will bounce back to usual soon.” 13th day of the lockdown 1.0, I was eager, ‘Yayyy, the quarantine veil is gonna lift finally’ until I understood how COVID 19 virus has whirled the world upside down and every country is trying to combat the pandemic.

All things considered, it’s wiser to concentrate on the immediate and not get ahead of ourselves. This will keep us sane.

So, every one of us is quarantined and isolated in our houses. Students’ every day waking up early, taking online classes. Watching the lecture in sleepy eyes and sometimes “accidentally” falling asleep while listening. Folks working from home go from wearing ironed shirts and boxers in zoom meeting to struggling to find a decent corner in the chaotic house for online conferences. In short, their day is pretty much slated (It’s a myth).

Idle folks like me, have enough time to practice and develop a more positive mindset. There’s nothing dreadful about it. The brighter side to this is we have an abundance of free time and food on our plates to unleash our creativity during social separation (remembering to be grateful here).

As the line says “good food, good mood” and with a lot of time in my hands, I have been experimenting a lot with learning new dishes. Surprisingly, this period is about eating real food. ~~No processed junked food~~.

Made some of the best memories around the dining table this year.

My hobby now includes eating and also thinking about the next time I will be eating. The ending be like – I feel guilty for over-eating (every time).

Well, most of my other enjoyment would be in painting, sketching, writing, baking cakes (the same recipe), catching up with my leftover books, and rarely exercising (bought a yoga mat tho).

I never knew that I could paint 🎨 cause my hands tend to shiver! But when boredom hits you, you can pretty much do everything. So I started painting and it turns out that I’m not that bad!

Quarantine is and shall always be about goofing around the house, tiptoeing to the kitchen at midnight, and back and forth. Figuring out what you are gonna do after life is back to normal. Managing the work profile and getting a source of income for daily meals. Reaching out for needy people. Lying back with arms under the head – watching the room ceiling and think of how grateful we are for what we all have and much more. The list is very long.

Pandemic made us all do weird yet great stuff. Life during pandemic is full of stories and whether serious or funny, happy, or sad. Above all, we are enjoying our family lunch and dinner. Never in life, we are going to have these precious moments again, so embrace it.

It feels like it’s been months. But it has been, honestly, an unbelievable period. From being insane at first to becoming sane about the whole pandemic situation, we all got used to it in the end, started to be thankful for the first time in the longest time.

Tara Gandhi Bhattacharjee wrote in the article about “Cosmic Fury As A Spiritual Wake up Call” she says, ‘Human beings are certainly not the most important life in the canvas of creation. It’s human beings’ concept that human life is the superior-most. Even at the highest intellectual and spiritual level, humans can think and act within the limitations of the human mind. What do we know about other lives? What is their philosophy?” So, let’s not forget that every life is special and different. Value your surroundings.

We will get through this, one way or the other. With so much tragedy and treacherous politics, it can be hard to imagine a future. Even after the whole pandemic comes to an end, lives everywhere are back to normal, there’s a lot to worry about in this brave new world.

Like Pope Francis once said, “Let us all work together and do our best, for a future where every life respects the other life.”

Till then, keep going. Be kind to yourself and others around you. Take care fellas!

LITTLE REMINDER

It is tough to protest when life tosses you a curveball and you have no other choice but to let it go past you. You might want to take control over the crisis, no matter how hard or how many times you try, life just doesn’t add up the way you want it to. Things tend to fall in the wrong place. It becomes harder with every passing day to deal with the shit going on for the longest time. The chaotic state of mind and pissed-off chunks of your heart makes you anxious and nervous.

Sometimes, you get through and other times it completely consumes you.

Pain is the most realistic part of everyone’s life, but that doesn’t mean it’s an essential part of life. The pain and the endless agony, it’s going to hurt. There is no denying that.

PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Hey listen, life will test you. But you gotta be strong. People close to you are going to hurt you, break you, and smash your heart into pieces. Your courage will be judged. Because when the suffering comes via loved ones, it costs too much. It costs you time and energy. It costs your mental health and sanity. It costs you all the emotions you have invested in the person.

At some point, you will consider what is indispensable to you. The connection or your well-being.

Try paying attention to whom your energy boosts and drops around because that’s the universe giving you a hint of whom you should be with. It is very disheartening and hard to choose yourself over any relationship (coz that’s what we’re taught from the very beginning, to stick with it and ignore the wronged). But you should know that you are brave enough to get over it and that you don’t gain without some loss. That all things come in two including pain and joy. When you realize that self-care retains more power than any of the XYZs, you are going to realize what is self-love. The first step to self-care is giving a shit about yourself.

Soon you’ll make peace with yourself for the first time in the longest time. You can search throughout the entire universe for someone more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

DUNGEON AND ESCAPE

Some days, you’ll find yourself tamed in a shady, and gross place, a whimsical dungeon surrounded by dire predictions and shunned feelings. These feelings will victimize you, and torment you. Probably make you think like you don’t have any kind of access to the outer world. You will be too damaged to maybe fix yourself even if you got a chance.

DON’T GIVE UP. LOOK FOR REDEMPTION.

Deep down you know you want to escape from the insecurities that are holding you back, somehow you are too drained to notice that there is always a way out of hell. Especially when the mastermind is you.

Our feelings are very complicated, but they exist for a reason.

Like magic, life also has loopholes. There’s always a catch behind every freaking happening on this planet. You just have to be more vigilant, when you need one. The high walls of your insecurity and outlook towards life are what are keeping you to escape the dark side of yours. Let go of them. They are not worthy of you.

Learn to fly free. Don’t be afraid to let go. Once you find the tool to dismantle the high walls, there will be a ray of joy to start all over again. You’re meant to heal what hurts you, you’re not supposed to live in misery forever.

You can always start again. No matter how bad you feel, how hard you have hit rock bottom again, or how little energy and will you have left to keep holding on, deep down you know that recovery is possible.

Trust me, you’ll shine like a crystal on a flower.

LIFE AND CONSPIRACY

What I’m trying to say is life doesn’t work the way you plan it to be. Life hasn’t been the way I expected it to be. It is disappointing. I agree. Well, here is what I discovered over the past few years about life and since then I have been aiming to get a more accurate slant to it.

Life is what it is – cruel, tough, and impossible sometimes. Whether you like it or not, the truth is never going to change. But to my surprise, what you can change is your attitude towards life by investing in yourself.

Over the years, I have learned to let go of what I can’t control, such as relationships, jobs, college, etc. That’s not to say that it gets any easier as time goes on, but God did equip me with the tools that I need in that season. Some seasons, I can get through the storm without hesitation, and other seasons, such as the one I’m currently in, I find it hard to get through a single day.

I’m learning to make peace with life and so can you.

You Need And Deserve Love During All Time.

In the end, always know ‘Life is Intriguing and Challenging’.

You are so strong and capable and you can do this. Please do not be so hard on yourself; you have not blown up, you have not failed – you are given the chance to start over and recreate yourself and I know that you will get through this.

P.S.: You have made it out of gray places more times than you could ever imagine, so what makes you think that this time is different?

A LETTER TO MY 18-YEAR-OLD SELF

Dear Saloni,

You have come a long way, 2015 seems a long time ago. At twenty-three, 18 appears so fresh and naive. It feels like an eternity.

I remember the days of your life, your favorite things include listening to music, sketching dark figures which you kept a secret from the rest of the world, reading romantic novels and then believing that kind of love exists, aching over some boys who didn’t even know you exist, writing poetry and sagas.

Your least favorite to do things? Studying for competitive exams, weekends, attending birthday parties. Third-wheeling nearly all your buddies and aiming to figure out if you fit in anywhere. (Always disappointed)

I remember how you used to fill pages of your journal with all these thoughts and never bothered to disclose them. I know you’re shy and you only pull down the barricade for a few. People who claim that they know you, barely know you at all. You are proud of who you are (never letting them know) and yet you don’t feel extraordinary in any way. You’re full of creativity and yet you disguise it. You fiercely want a connection with somebody, but you’re too quiet to be eyed by the sort of guys you have always been passionate about.

You believe in yourself and your faith is strong. You never really believe in God, your philosophy of how you look at life is completely different from others and so are you.

You wish for a fortunate future, but have no sense of how it will be like. All those beliefs and worries, anxiety and depression, sadness and sourness, thinking, and logic you don’t speak to anyone but yourself. The energy that resides inside you is the source of therapy.

At nights, when you’re vulnerable and infer what life will be like once you’re in college. Will it be the same as your high school? Will you have the same uncertainties and insecurities? The same expectations and plans? Will you be always left behind?

I’m reaching out to you via this letter to remind you that keep believing in yourself and the rest will follow.

You’ll face trials and rejections, challenges, and fear. But you’ll ultimately grow up, my adorable girl. You’ll gain confidence. You’ll find a gentleman, whom you silently wished for while reading romantic books. With a ton of tough grind and endurance, you’ll make it up to your dreams.

Eventually, you will learn to make your own conclusions and not just do what people tell you. You’ll be tested. But you’ll keep that faith you’ve spent all that time rising and evolving.

One day, when you are 23, you will look back on these days and be proud. Proud that you stayed out of trouble. Proud that you let go of toxic friendships. Proud that you challenged yourself as much as you could.

Would we be friends? 18-year-old Saloni and 23-year-old Saloni, right?

It’s hard to say. You’ve altered so much. I hope if we came across, we would at least respect each other and be satisfied by the trials and successes we find ourselves in.

To close this letter, I will end with something that you need to hear precisely at 18.

You are ample.

You are capable of love.

You are better than your Competitive scorecards.

You are better off without temporary people.

You are more responsible and honest than your parents led you to believe.

Remember, you are stronger than your anxiety. It’s gonna be okay.

With Love,
Saloni

P.S. Start Meditating, it will help keep your chaotic calm.

CAN I RENEGOTIATE WITH DEATH?

In memory of our loved ones when they pass

I know you’ve lost someone, and it hurts. The feeling of falling apart, like your heart is halted all over again just by the sudden rush of unpleasant memories. The sound of the heart being smashed into millions of pieces, sending chills over the body. And after so many years of getting over this heartbroken phase of life, one day you suddenly find yourself standing right there in the middle of every misery that caused you so many sufferings. You never actually get over the miseries that changed your life.

Dying possibly is one of those things that almost no one seems to want to do but everyone has to do eventually (someday). It’s difficult, even for grownups, to understand why this must happen.

Still, it’s quite a risky topic of discussion.

Missing my chance to say goodbye — and longing for her last words.

“For about a week after my grandmother passed away, I couldn’t cope up with the truth but always found myself going back to the last night I spent with her. She was sick and pale. Barely had enough strength to talk. Following dusk, we had our meals and sat with her – talking and laughing, trying to make her feel comfortable with the environment and herself. Around midnight we went to bed with happy faces. Little did we know that it was our last conversation. Eventually, the next morning, she never woke up. She suffered from cardiac arrest. Now, when words were spread about her demise, relatives began to pour in, some were offering condolences and some were sitting in silence. I went to the room where she was lying lifeless. I wanted to see her for the last time to imprint her face in my mind and heart forever. As I went near her, accidentally I happened to touch her hand and for a minute I froze there. She was cold as ice and corpse. I was in complete denial. Pretty soon I realized that death can, and often does, strikes without warning.”

I dream of her often and still miss her. It has been almost 7 years already, but it still feels like it only happened yesterday!

The last lesson that the old lady left me to figure out was Death. I’d never been through it before. I was 16 and, up to that point, my family had been intact. The very first faceoff with the disheartening reality of life was – death. I call it the season of misery. Though rain kept on pouring and hence, leaving no difference between the raindrops and teardrops.

Can I decide to forgive you? I’m not there yet, but I’m trying.

I see you come to everyone. Maybe it was her time.

Maybe in the spiritual world, we made this agreement with you. I’d like to renegotiate.

Here’s a thing about death that there are many things I do not know and may never know. But I do know that it will happen, someday, to all of us.

Can I renegotiate the way I feel about you, Death? Or are you my forever enemy? You’re the taker, but do you have a benevolent side?

It doesn’t matter. You took her from me, Death! You snatched her while she slept, happily packed to come to see me.

Damn you, Death! I’m angry at your cruelty. Why did you take her from me?

You left me in a miserable state, it’s harder to forgive you – I’m trying.

I was in a phase of panic and anxiety and feelings of unreality with intense sadness, which felt overwhelming. I even worried about my existence. It took me so long to get back to the reality of what we call life.

I mourned about almost everything I could relate to.

I know it’s important to let one grieve in their way. To learn how to work through grief. It takes a hell of a time. After all, it’s finding out who I am once again without the attachment to her.

Making peace with the nature of life.

Take care of yourself. With the loss of a relationship comes the loss of love emanating from another that one has felt all along.

I’m still accepting you, death!

When this happened, the best I could do is accept death as a fact of life. It happens, and I can’t do anything to change it. The truth about death lays plain the harshness of the grave… but also the true beauty of the life we already have.

Death, you made it harder for us to say our goodbyes, how do you do this to families?

Death, you’re the awful thing to ever happen in all of existence. But I believe no one should worry or wonder about it for very long. There are too many wonderful things to experience in the many, many years ahead.

Death – I forgive you. That’s me practicing.

Life is a precious gift we are unable to recreate once it’s gone.

No one is assured tomorrow. The only thing we can count on is today.

Therefore, in the end, I always have believed in’ Death takes the body. God takes the soul. Our mind holds the memories. Our heart keeps the love. Our faith lets us know we’ll meet again.

BE YOU

It takes a lot of courage to be yourself. In the 21st century, we are all talking about keeping things real and evolving. But the truth is still far away to be discovered or just enough layers more to put the veil off. Tell me – How many times each day do you mean to say one thing, and say another instead because you’re worried about what others might think?
Or how often do you wake up in the morning with one idea in mind for what you want to accomplish, only to find yourself doing something else because of social pressures or personal anxieties?

Because it’s harder than ever to be yourself when others want you to be like others. Quite complicated, isn’t it? Distorted and twisted both on purpose and accidentally concept of humanitarian. It is society’s hypocrisy to tell you to be yourself and also that they are not liking the version of you being yourself.

Picasso described it just so well:

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.
Since childhood, we are taught to think and behave like everyone else. We are warned that if we attempt to be different from our peers, or stand out from the crowd, people will not accept us and we will stay alone. Drop by drop, these messages kill our desire to be ourselves and we seek out our safe and comfortable place under the shelter of the majority.

Though most of us are doing a great job in shutting down the originality that lies deep within us that is what makes humans miserable. We act like this because we have come to believe that this is the most practical, effective way to go through life with as little pain and discomfort as possible. But remember without a doubt, on your way to showing up with your true self, you will inevitably encounter people who just will not be able to understand you. Yes, some will harshly criticize you and others will make fun of you.

Why?
Because such people are not brave enough to express their originality it makes them miserable to see someone else doing this. Yes, it takes a lot of courage to be yourself, copying others is way too easier. Consequently, you will inevitably meet people, who will try to tear you down just because you have chosen to embrace your authentic self.

My answer to such people is:
In a world full of copycats the expression “You are weird” is a compliment to me. Pay it often! Thanks.

Therefore focus on yourself, and don’t get lost in other people. Because the truth is sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else. Believe in yourself, you’re braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.

If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more.

Keep loving yourself.

MINI HUMANS

Twilight Murkiness!

In the turning of twilight
In the shadows of moonlight

I know I can do far better than this
That is what I think night after night

Surrounded by humongous walls
Suffocating enough to slaughter my dreams

The heat is on
The pressure is high

With door and windows sealed
I’m hoping my poor soul shall be healed

A voice inside me yells
Upon the emptiness – a knell

But for the very first time in my life
I felt at a loss for words inside

Some days
I feel everything at once

Other days
I feel nothing at all

I don’t know what’s worse;
Drowning beneath the waves
Or dying from thirst

So I try and drink my emotions
Till I feel my heart frozen

I know,
Insidious is a blind inception
What’s the reality with all these questions?

The trust in dreams &
Tempting desires

The silence in heart &
Broken wings

Smile hiding tears &
Laugh hiding screams

Disguise face &
Lost soul

It’s been like this for years
Things aren’t as they seem

It all looks like poetry to me
With music that’s about to flee

What matters you unheeding throng?
They cannot feel my spirit’s spell

Since life is sweet and love is long
I sing my song, and all is well
Come clear the nets of wrong and right
Laugh, heart, again in the grey light

So you see the mysteries in the twilight
They’re turning away from darkness to light

MEN AND MASCULINITY

Dear Men,

Everybody knows it, but nobody talks about it. So, here I write to you and for you, consider me your inner voice. I’m trying to make an effort to reach out to your actual inner man.

Men cry.

Men breakdown.

Men have suicidal thoughts.

Men die by suicide.

Men suffer from mental illness.

It’s not unmanly to struggle.
In his book, What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook, Christopher Flett claims men don’t often exhibit emotion “because they are taught that it is weak to do so. Men don’t cry! Or if they do, they’ll rarely admit to it. The truth is they do get emotional; they just don’t show it. Their fathers pull them aside and tell them to be two-faced: a private face they have outside of the public eye, and a public face that shows no weakness.”

“Big boys don’t cry” and “Take it like a man” sounds familiar.

In my previous blog, I wrote about inspiring girls and that they should empower themselves mentally. A friend of mine asked me to pen down something similar for men, emphasizing the psychological facts. So, I logged in to my Instagram account and checked for some pages and hashtags for the men’s community where I found some facts and personal feelings about what men go through and their personal experiences. Sadly I couldn’t find any. I could have Googled it but then a question rubbed my mind, why only women are discussed and written articles about, why not anything about men and their feelings. It’s rare, why?

Well, our culture is indeed developing for women’s rights as to that of men. But what is being ignored in the process is Men and Their Emotional Parameters.
All this does not happen because men are “more naturally” aggressive or violent. It happens because we teach young boys that they have to be a certain way. We teach them that certain character traits are not for them. Boys are not allowed to cry, boys are not allowed to play with dolls, boys are not allowed to like pink glitter unicorns. Children receive a constant narrative about girls being emotional princesses and boys being strong, wild, loud heroes. Men grew to process to suppress their emotions. Of course, they become toxic which is not only harmful to others but mostly to themselves.
By this, I don’t mean that masculinity is a bad thing. All I am saying is that it is unhealthy for any person not to learn how to cope with emotions and suppress their feelings. Character traits and emotions should not have a gender. Gender roles are harmful to everyone, men included. And I honestly wish more men would see that, accept that feminism is not only for women, and start an open and honest conversation about masculinity.

Therefore, you should know that masculinity isn’t about being emotional and it’s all about –

Weeping and trying to find comfort in hugs and accepting the fact that you are mentally broken.

Letting others see your weak side and letting go of the uneasiness and suffering by opting for an easy way.

Feeling happiness and sadness and accepting your emotional breakdown.

Shoving off the society and putting down the tag of manhood i.e. “Real Me Don’t Cry”

That you can unveil your emotions.

Because I Understand. We understand that whether or not you are a man or a woman, you do feel every emotion. Being strong doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions. The best people are both strong and soft! It’s that absurd idea that being emotional isn’t ‘masculine’ but that’s also not true.

So, the next time you see a little boy crying or a man who is broke emotionally or your brother/friends suffering from mental illness or your father or uncles stressed up don’t take that shit as a manly hormone (as of what we are taught, he’s a man so he should stay strong and not weep like a woman, it’s very unmanly of him). Rather sit with them and talk about it, consolidate them of whatever the matter is, spend some time with them. Make them realize that being strong doesn’t always mean holding on to the pain and suffering in silence. Show them that busting down the patriarchy is not only beneficial for women, it’s beneficial for men also.

Bust down this idea that it’s weak for men to seek help, or to be emotional. Bust down this idea that men have to “man up”. Allow space for men to be vulnerable. Allow the space for men to seek help.

P.s. – To every man reading this, you’ve been doing excellent so far. Be a man in ethical ways. Look out for yourself and keep smiling you stunning human.

GIRL, YOU SHOULD READ THIS

Hey there girl,

When you feel like the world is crashing down all around you, please don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t shut down. I know you want to because that’s what every fiber of your being is telling you to do. That’s what seems natural to you right now. But, gorgeous girl, the world needs you. It needs your heart. It needs your personality. It needs your smile. It needs your softness. It needs your laughter. It needs your energy.

Whatever sadness is flooding your soul right this moment is only temporary. It may be deep and painful and all-consuming, but know that it will not last forever. There will come a time when you won’t be fighting back tears when you won’t feel like you’re just floating through a cloudy dream when you won’t feel like you’re in too deep to ever experience overflowing joy and excitement and love again.

I can’t promise you what the path to healing looks like, but I can promise you that there is one. And this heavy mess you’re in right now is just a stopping point on the beautiful path that’s paved especially for you.

There are days filled with passion and purpose for life, flourishing relationships, innate happiness, limitless opportunities, and lots of light but, my sweet girl, you need to keep fighting to get there. You need to know the value and worth you bring to this world and have hope that this hardship you’re struggling with will in time loosen the tight grip it has on your heart.

And until that moment comes, be gentle with yourself. Show yourself the grace and kindness and compassion that you’ve deserved all along. Allow your soul to rest. Accept help from outstretched hands. Be proud of every step forward you take, no matter how big or small it is. And know that there are people in this world who care about you and want to see you conquer this battle you’re fighting. You are loved, gorgeous, and oh so strong.

P.s.- The girl who is hurting is hurting no more.

IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY

Dear Strong Men & Women,

I see the pain in your smile. Hey! it’s okay if you are sad today. It’s okay if you feel your heart breaking one more time. It’s okay if you’re feeling lonely today. It’s okay if you feel like crying. It’s okay to side down the wall when it’s 3’o clock and wonder where’s life going? It’s okay to burry head in a book and let tears stream down your face. It’s okay to pray, get rid of your problems.

It’s okay to bury your face in the pillow. It’s okay if the pictures of the past make you want to be with the same person again. It’s okay to feel so. It’s okay if you can’t find happiness for a moment. It’s okay if you can’t laugh with a happy heart. It’s okay if something is holding you back. It’s okay to give a break to yourself. It’s okay to not be okay.

It’s okay if you didn’t wake up with a smile today or you remember the last night and kinda feel guilty. It’s okay if you haven’t planned anything for the day yet and you are empty head today. It’s okay if the things you planned, didn’t go well. It’s okay if you are late to work. It’s okay if you are going crazy about certain things. It’s okay if you aren’t looking focused. It’s okay if the negative vibe is slipping down to you.

It’s okay if you can’t find a ray of hope today. It’s okay to be in dark. It’s okay if you find yourself in the middle of nowhere. It’s okay if you fail today. And it’s okay if you are not what you thought today.

It’s okay if the other’s can’t see the actual you. It’s okay if they didn’t realize that you aren’t okay. It’s okay if you are fighting with yourself. It’s okay if like other days, people want you to be more understanding. It’s okay if you are not on their consideration list. It’s okay if people treat you differently today. It’s okay if you fail to flip the good side of you. It’s okay if you are angry today. It’s okay if you feel the urge to shout today. It’s okay if you want to spend your day doing absolutely nothing. It’s okay if you want to be noisy and messy. It’s okay if you want to be YOU again.

It’s okay sunshine, breathe and hold on to that, it’ll pass. It has to. Just breathe and breathe and remind yourself of all the times in the past that you’ve felt this scared. All the times you’ve felt this anxious and overwhelmed. All the time you’ve felt this level of pain. And remind yourself of how each time you made it through.

Life has thrown so much on you and will keep doing that to eternity. But remember, Nothing is forever here. Eventually, like bad times woops away, so does the happy times.

Therefore, breathe and trust that you can survive this too. Trust this struggling part of the process. It’ll bring the best out of you. And trust that as long as you don’t give up and keep pushing forward, no matter how hopeless things seem… you’ll make it. This is what brings us to the circle of life. Get along with it and you’ll see, you are enough capable to overcome the worst.

So, it’s okay if you decide to treat yourself with the real you. We should all be allowed to fall apart sometimes so that we can find ourselves all over again. Remember that there are always going to be moments where you don’t feel okay. And these moments are important. They help you to grow into the person you were always meant to become.

And when they ask you If you’re okay, it’s okay for the answer to be ‘NO.’

Author: Saloni's Pen